For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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