P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
