Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
