Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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