do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
