: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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