Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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