just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
