This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
