i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How external is "for external use only"?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
