if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
