I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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