third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
