Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
