Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
