exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
