i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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