I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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