He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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