Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
