How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
