The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
