Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
