oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So squirting runs in the family.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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