cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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