All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
