I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
