I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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