I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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