just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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