I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
