Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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