??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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