Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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