I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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