i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
worst night to have a conscience
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
