Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
