pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
