Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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