I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
