One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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