He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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