with your own penis?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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