i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
