I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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