Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
