someone get that fucking seahorse.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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