Moan for me like Helen Keller
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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