There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
