i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
