Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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