Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
PS: I just woke up from my shower
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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