Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
